Then the LORD God said, "It is
not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him."
- Genesis 2:18
Even before the fall, when the world was in its most perfect form something was missing, woman was missing, femininity was non-existent. You as a woman are needed in this world. You who God has created as a soft, tender, relational being is extremely needed in this world. This world wouldn't be able to operate properly without femininity.
I am currently reading a book by John and Stasi Eldredge called "Captivating" (this is an amazing read and I recommend you go buy it!). One of the chapters in this book is about femininity. Up until the point where I read that chapter I never realized I had a problem with my femininity. I mean I love being a girl, and dressing up and doing those "girly" things but after completing that chapter I realized my femininity has been interrupted. Let's break down exactly what that means.
Femininity is defined as the quality or essence of being a woman.
Interrupted is defined as to stop or hinder by breaking in; to break the continuity.
Femininity interrupted is when the quality or essence of being a woman is stopped or hindered by a breaking in. It is when the continuity of your femininity is broken.
What breaks in? What breaks this continuity? Pain, hurt, abuse, disappointments.
Every woman experiences pain regardless of how big or little. From the girl who is raped to the girl that was rejected by a crush, the pain is very real and can send a very damaging message. Messages like "don't be vulnerable, you'll just get hurt or rejected" or "don't be soft or tender you've got to be hard so you won't get hurt" and "if you weren't beautiful that wouldn't have happened to you, let yourself go, hide your beauty, it's dangerous". All of these messages are lies and direct attacks against your femininity because the truth is femininity is powerful. I'm not talking about dressing immodestly to get what you want or being deceptive or sexually seductive. I am talking about the power of how God created woman, the very essence of who you were created to be is powerful!
As women we have so many voices, ideas and ways of life pulling at us. There are so many different ideas of how women should live their lives and that is why we've got to be in our word! The world sends the message that if we are soft, tender, merciful and relational that we are weak and needy. So many woman and Christian woman, princesses of the king walk around with this hard shell. This hard shell that sends off to people, especially men that we don't need them and we can do it all ourselves we are independent. I too once walked with the mindset and I renounced it! You can too. This whole independent, hard shell woman mindset is just self-preservation. It's not your job to preserve yourself that mindset is completely rooted in fear and 2 Timothy 1:7 boldly declares God has NOT given us the spirit of fear. BE FEARLESS IN JESUS NAME!
This is not an easy 1,2,3 type of thing to deal with. Fear is deeply rooted but be of good cheer because the word says that anything God didn't plant will be uprooted (matthew 15:13), and God has NOT EVER and WILL NEVER plant fear in the heart. I'm not talking about the reverential fear of God, but the fear that holds us back from living our lives abundantly.
I am not perfect and this is a struggle for me too. As God teaches me and heals me I will begin posting more and more of what I am learning. As for now this is what I got and I pray that the Holy Spirit reveal to you in a personal way what exactly you need to do concerning your femininity and completely trusting and depending on God alone. Declare over yourself daily that you are a fearless woman of God. Fear has no right or place in your life. Faith evicts fear & faith comes by hearing and hearing the word of God ... get in your word beloved.